i am definitely in that anger/guilt phase right now after breaking up with my avoidant boyfriend 3 weeks ago. If something does upset him, then we just talk it out together. Then I believe that you should break up. You should break up with him because he’s not committing to you and only you. Good sex is not enough for a good relationship. CrysInSpanish. •. My boyfriend (25M) and I (28F) have been in a Blow up and try to cause drama between your family or friend group. Breaking up is never an easy decision to make, so take your time to consider your options. It marks the beginning of a journey that will take time. this is incredible. He didnt know this before, but he actually has an utterus in him. Just because you love her doesn't mean you should allow her behaviour to go without consequences. I personally think you should break up with him. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage I think you should share ALL of this with your SO and combine your efforts to come up with the path. r/dating_advice. It's certainly shitty, but not the worst. Dump her. The first couple days after the break up were rough. I kept checking my phone all the time to see if he texted me on that one Instagram account. I don’t agree with this. The thing is, recently I find myself having small crushes on other people. It's really early for him to be thinking that, implying that, or trying to live like that especially without discussing those boundaries. " 2. Your "straight" boyfriend of 4 years is at minimum having phone sex with other men. Yes. He needs to figure himself out without hurting you and dragging you along. You just failed to be happy together. I really believed he was my forever. detached in a way. I don't think breaking up is the right choice at all. Also there are other factors that I want to break up, and I don’t see a future with him, but I’m going to have a trip together with him so I planned to break up with him after it. at the time i was talking to this guy named sean. If you're asking internet strangers if you should break up, the answer is almost always "yes. cherriesdeath. But don’t go into that relationship straight from this one bcs it can be damaging. hi! :) HS bf and I will have been dating for about 1Y by the time we head off to college (summer '23). They’re not being irrational. It’s possible that a breakup may cause this person to seek out the help that they need. She wants the next level of commitment, but I am struggling to take that next step. Her loving for you in your dying days means something to her. Your both young, and chances are you won’t last much longer anyways. 2. He is type of guy that everyone loves and never has problems with. Stop self improvement. She says he wants to marry me, but I'm worried if she can't even take care of me, then should I even be with her? TL;DR: I have depression and unable to get out of bed on most days. • 3 yr. Stop checking her location - that's just wrong. Try to come to some form of consensus that he is okay with that involves keeping the dog. Last night I told him that I had plans with friends and he could come over after (which would’ve been today). This is a guy who will cheat if he has the opportunity. Instead of recommending talking to her, it’s always “you’re unhappy, break up”. There have been times where I have felt more inclined to do it and times where I Try reasoning with yourself, if you don’t settle these emotions, they can get ahold of you in no time. The last month or so of the relationship, I felt absolutely awful. This is why you should break up with him. We are planning our first trip to Mexico. If you won't be able to be happy with someone who won't "fall for you" the same way, that's OK too, and in that case you should be honest, gather your courage, and break up with him. We didn't get along, and while that wasn't the reason the relationship fell apart, it easily could have been. If you have any questions, please send the mods a message. The only problem is that while I am still in medical school, I will not be able to come up with the money to buy it due to the demanding schedule I must keep at the hospital (80-100 hours a week). even though I have my own friends, I am going to be terribly lonely after a break-up. So guys Am here to vent a little and see other people opinion so please dont be too harsh (tho i know i deserve to hair some truths so have fun) I have a girlfriend honestly its technically my first i had sex dated jokingly with a girl when i was young and one long distance one with the one before my current girlfriend I Seriously, in the future save yourself and your partners a lot of pain by BREAKING UP if you aren't 100% sure you want to keep moving forward after a year or two. It's common to feel alone after breaking up, your friends and family can soften the blow for you. I'm just scared to lose him as a person bc he means sm to me, we've gone through a lot together. So someone just broke up with you: a survival guide. Imo you should break up because he works so hard and deserves someone who appreciates that. At the same time, I'm wondering if it would be better to break up so that we don't prolong a painful end for the two of us, and end up having more time to work on ourselves or even meet new people. We both got social anxiety and depression. we had had a really bumpy relationship before that, he had dumped me twice before. Trust me, breaking up won't help - it'll only make you feel worse. Idk. 5yrs longer than I should have - while I still cared for him, and he was just the nicest guy, I just wasn't in love with him anymore, nor was I really attracted to him anymore. Your actions and decisions are even more irrational than that one guy who might actually be crazy. I once drove 5 hours to break up in person (we had become long distance for the last few months of the relationship). Exercise, keep an eye on your food intake. We might start fighting again as soon as we wake up, but he never lets me go to bed without knowing that I'm loved. He likes you, thinks you're a good catch, a good investment in his futurejust not quite good enough to make up for all that possible puss he's passing up. I'm 17M and my Girlfriend is 15F we met on some group chat and we connected very well from the beginning, she had a boyfriend at that time and I also had a girlfriend that time , but me and my then girlfriend broke up for some reason And her boyfriend of 2 years cheated on her Then after some time we started talking even more and spending more and more time together on calls, video calls and I can't focus on anything not related to him. You deserve to mourn the loss also. But, in answer to your question, you should break up with her. If a man texts you that he is going to put his dick in someone else's mouth, you find your dignity and self respect, and tell him he can put his dick anywhere he wants except for you, because you are done with him. Being a similar age and having been in a serious relationship, the grass isn’t necessarily greener on the other side. as someone who went to prom three times, the worst was when i had a date (my gf at the time). If it tips more toward the negative more time than it’s positive, you either need to fix it or end it. Weight is not a lame reason. He broke up with me like 2 months ago bc I was feeling really insecure and spent 1 day apart. georgiaraised23. Personally, I would break up. I swear I felt such a relief, i felt calm again. I don’t really have a lot of friends other than a good friend from pre school, who goes to another high school. It wasn't a perfect relationship, but we were genuinely happy and loved each other. My dad always told me relationships should be 85/15. there is nothing fun about being stuck with someone you’re not all that into all night long. Lately I thought about our relationship a lot and it would honestly help so much if we lived closer so we could be there for eachother in real life. If he can not than you will have to choose between him and the pet. 6. She has some issues that you should not be around to deal with. How you see him is probably how he sees you. The fact that we have yet gotten engaged is a major source of strain in our relationship. There have been times where I have felt more inclined to do it and times where I long distance is difficult and you're young. But there are ways that you can support this person- by checking in occasionally, and being a friend. If he can't acknowledge your relationship then to him its not a relationship its a hookup. Your gf is stupid for putting up with this. You fight every day, that’s the important thing and the fact you’re asking if you should break up is the answer to the question: yes. I’m assuming you guys are young from both of you being forced to go on trips you don’t want to go on, and her not being able to call since she’s around family. Basically this. i would break up with him if you’re unhappy. For context: Been Communicate, communicate, communicate, if it doesn't change after that, maybe he's to busy for a relationship now. Acknowledge what you’re feeling. She doesn't do anything around the house and it's always a mess. She told you she was busy. keep in mind, everyone that is mentioned in this story is a coworker including my boyfriend. And these are not my first time having these thoughts of breaking up. While it’s true that depression makes things harder, it also isolates us. However, we share the same friend group, so breaking up in the middle of college might be awkward for our friends. if you feel inhibited, and that's what your gut feeling is telling you, break up and see what dating is like in your city. Best of luck to you though! Mentioning the size of her ex was probably a dick move. Whether he will get that or not greatly depends on what he brings to the relationship table, but just wanting a fit partner when in your 20's is perfectly reasonable. Long story short we kept talking and talked things out, had a million discussions on what we liked and disliked in the past relationship and what we would want moving forward. Instead of leaving your bf I would recommend starting therapy, if you have the possibility of paying for it. You end it, and move on. You are not meant to be together. dp15. Many of our friends who have been dating for less time have gotten engaged at this point. When "I love you" becomes a meaningless, empty bunch of words you say just to get you (and your SO) through another day. Going to a party really isn’t an issue, you don’t control her. 1. My friend (not good with relationships at all lol) says I should leave her, and when I go to others for advice (bias favoring me) they all just tell me to “do what will make me happy” and “go with my gut” I’m looking for some unbiased advice on what I should do. I get your jealous because he doesn't have a lot of free time for you, but communicate that. The real question is would you be happier with someone else EDIT: We broke up a couple of months ago. That’s as low as anyone can get TBH. Follow reddit rules. Loneliness may or may not be a factor, and is definitely a problem that can combated even if it does crop up. Thought I wouldn't survive the break up, even though I knew it needed to happen. true. I ended up staying in the relationship for 1. And NO DONT BREAK UP. What you should do: no way you don't feel better if you followed these steps. This test will take less than 5 minutes and will immediately give you the results. He's clearly letting you know that he's not committed to this relationship. Cheating on a partner shows complete lack of empathy and remorse. first things first you should know the backstory before i get into where we’re at now. If the doctors were right, you will die. One of the most commonly tools used to asses your self esteem is called the "Rosenberg self-esteem scale". We started out insanely in love and eventually moved into a more regular relationship Should i break up with her : r/dating_advice. You are giving off possessive, stalking vibes. You would be bringing more attention to your self and your depression by blaming it for the break up. 15% is allotted for disagreements or arguments. If you break up maturely, you don't have anything to regret in ending things. Break up and move on. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Obviously keeping the pets best interest in mind, giving to a family or friend, that you can visit daily for a while to help sase the transisition. Break up with him. Girl if you do not sit her down and tell her straight up you want to break up. I want to hear the perspective of the person doing or initiating the break up. I don't know if this is the correct question for you to ask us. I dated and almost married someone whose family were terrible people. Love yourself more than that. She has suffered from depression on and off and doesnt try to improve her condition that much. I want to break up because I get hurt easy and he's a distractive person and hurts me without realizing, usually over small things. She was busy. The worst is "breaking up" by completely vanishing from someone's life. I was getting more and more stressed out and anxious, putting off the break-up, and honestly, he could tell. Month 8-12 aka "you feel normal if you followed all the steps". I could put up with these symptoms until I graduate in 3 years, but if I decide to continue, I will have to break up with my girlfriend. Honestly she probably told you 7 at first Bc she was self conscious and scared of your reaction if she actually told you 11. Personally to me if u already thinking of someone else to go out with when u already have someone the relation ship is over. In most cases threats like this are empty, and even if ituloy nun pakamatay, she isn’t accountable for any of it. ago. If you have to ask Reddit if you should breakup with your s/o, it’s probably because you want too and are just looking for support to do it. Everyone will start at the same page and no one will feel Ike they were left out of the process on decisions about their future with or without you(if you unilaterally solve this and break it off as a surprise to them, they will never see you the same again). Mostly due to the fact that I’ve had an early miscarriage a few months ago (his child, which he wasn’t that supportive) I was eating a lot due to stress and The first step would be to try and confirm that, so we know if you should take a closer look or not. She's the female in the relationship, it's her body on the line. This is emotional abuse and the longer you stay in the situation, the worse it will get. Yes, you should break up. It's ok to start to look for love again. You lose all self respect doing this. Which I guess is reasonable given your reaction. Should I break up with her? I knew my girlfriend was going to the clubs partying before we were official, I recently found out more stuff about her past and I cant view her the same. Deleting all their accounts so you can't contact them. I personally don’t believe body counts matter all that much if they are willing to tell you and commit to you now. It doesn’t sound like you were very sure of her in the beginning either, which is another problem. Should I Break Up? He is my only partner, and I just got noticed about abnormal result for cervical cancer test. Although you love him and have had good times with him, it seems like you're not as happy with him as you used to be and he has a lot of problems that he doesn't seem too eager to fix. 9. When you're more in love with the memories than the person. I’m sorry, but if you have that good of a relationship with your family, they should always come first. Tell your friends and family right away. We have been together for 2 years and she is great--many, if not all of the qualities I would want in a partner. I hope that's the case but you should talk it out and make sure, not assume that to be the case. Reply reply. We are both 32. I feel I've done a lot and put more in when it comes to engaging on a daily basis, Im tired of texting to get 3 word replies hours after Everytime. something felt off and long story short i asked her if she is certain she want's to be with me. Whether it was a blindside or a long time coming, being on the receiving end of a breakup is never easy. They are trying to physically intimidate and dominate the other person in a way where they won't go to jail. Most importantly, though, a breakup provides an opportunity to learn, grow, and find yourself again. If you have feelings of breaking up, think about if it's truly a good reason to break it off with someone. He was my first love, my first relationship, and now my first heartbreak. If you've already planned what you're going to say in the break up. It doesn't matter how bad I piss him off, when it's bedtime, he's going to roll over and snuggle me until I'm asleep. We are both rational like that and I really appreciate his understanding in certain situations. Make sure you sleep at least 7 hours every night. 85% of the time you should be happy or neutral. There is a special place in hell dedicated for people who break up over a text message. Even though you are breaking up, I think someone you cared about and was important in your life deserves to be able to discuss it in person. I feel like college gets my mental health worse and that makes me more hurt and sensitive and that enhaces everything. I don’t think that the solution is facing your depression alone. It's his job to talk things out with you, not yours to justify his behaviors. Maybe I'm exaggerating, thats why I'm posting this, because maybe it's not that bad. my boyfriend michael (23m) and i (19f) were friends before the start of the relationship. Dating is to determine if you are incompatible. My younger brother is 25 this year and has had one actual in person relationship when he was like 12 and lasted a few months. But this probably wont be anytime soon. Don't numb yourself with alcohol and drugs. I try to be forgiving to my gf. My advice, your young, clearly want someone who has less sexual experience and you don’t trust your girlfriend. Dude. securehealthlove. I’d break up with him if I were you. I was in a similar boat as you. I've (18F) been in a relationship with a girl (18F) for around 6 months and I want It absolutely is. You need to focus on the good in life and be happy you have a boyfriend that cares about his depressed gf after only 3 months. I'm tired, I depend a lot on him. . It’ll be something (if she decides) that defines your relationship, your partnership, and love. This whole time she has been talking to dudes and interacting with them. He’ll want to explore that side of himself eventually, may as well break up. Should I break up? Me (M22) and gf (F21) have been together for 2. I honestly think you should have an open discussion with your girlfriend to get her input. You feel hurt and jealous and yes you do care when she speaks to other guys, JUST ACCEPT IT and don’t try to ignore or avoid it. Should I (M24) break up with my long term girlfriend. The idea also makes me feel sick. With that said, I'm hesitant to break up but I'm also currently unhappy these days even if we're trying to compromise. It sounds like you are not getting your needs met and do not want to be in this relationship anymore as it currently stands but only you can really decide if breaking up is the right "next step" for you. Because she was. He is respectful, rarely gets mad, is kind, a family man, and goes out of his way to put make me smile. Its not long distance. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. i realize now that i was trying too hard to change this person who simply was. It’s also just exhausting. Yes you should. If you can get through those conflicts and still keep a strong bond, why not keep it going with that person. You are well within reason to break up with someone because of their family. The decision for the relationship is dependent on your willingness to accept her terms for having a family with you. The relationships aren’t always 50-50. Reach out like a sane person after she takes a few days to think about it to ask if you still feel the same way, and want to maintain an amicable relationship. Depression might be coming back. It’ll be a memory of her commitment, and something she will cherish to help her through the loss of you in her life. The one exception is if you fear that the person could become violent. If you marry someone, you are also marrying their family. I ended up crying to him about it and I told him that it was my last straw - if he kept starting fights over little things I was done. she said she has been thinking about it for the last couple of days and isn't really sure. Let them back in to your life. So I guess to sum it all up, it depends on the situation, how you are emotionally hurting her, and if you can solve the problem together. She had plans with her best friend. epicskier123. You write: I hate the idea of breaking up with her, crushing her dreams and setting her back in her life. Everyone gets depressed sometimes. Since then we haven’t fought until last night. People breaking and hitting things in arguments are conveying what they want to do or are capable of doing to the other person. Your partner’s depression should be handled by a professional adult. But ultimately it's up to you and what you want in a partner. Breaking up is not a crime. That loving caring relationship, where you are both always looking out for each other and sharing that love with each other. She is extremely intelligent and her relationship/emotional skills are far superior to mine. we have been together for 1 year but we were talking for about 4 years. Award. 12) Be kind to yourself. They usually try to sneak back around here. Working around someone else’s schedule, while they’re unwilling to budge to accommodate you, is unfair. He always makes me small presents, showing that he really listens to me; plans trips for us (we both pay of course but he shows he cares), flies over to me often (we are in a long distance relationship at the moment), I can call him in the middle of the night, he listens to me, whenever I have problems, we have the same values etc. Go to dating_advice. With that said, it’s ok to be picky, and someone who drains you of your energy is not worth continuous effort. this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates. But I’m scared that I can’t. sean and me started I‘m always telling myself that I can break up with him when he got a real job and he can afford the apartment by himself. it sucks that i grew to become comfortable in that box that was way too small for Should i break up. In addition to this, I have this stupid feeling that 25 is too old to start over. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage. stephencua2001. Maybe, but I love him. I’ve gained 10 lbs over the past 2-3 months. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. Get out while you still can. I understand that she has mental illness, but you do not have to make yourself responsible for her or her actions. You wouldn't be "letting him off the hook". I guess I have to muster up the strength in me if I want to see this relationship work out. If you are seriously questioning breaking up with someone, then that is a sign in itself you should just do it. You're just a sperm donor. He said "I'm probably not getting rid of you anyways". So there’s probably a lack of maturity when it comes to the relationship. Do not bully or harass other users. I've already gotten into a US college in the…. Then literally 4 days later I felt relieved. She's not a lifetime partner and you deserve more than her disrespect. When your roommate wants to slap you both upside the head. These aren't good enough reasons to stay in a relationship. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. What if they talked about it, worked on their mental health together, and lived happily ever after? Everyone is so lonely and can’t find anyone for themselves because they give up so fucking quick as soon as a problem arises. I was in my first relationship and I was deeply in love. You'll find someone else that will treat you soooo much better. OP had every right to demand a fit partner for himself. You are 18, you will find someone near by and someone you don't have to hide or move in with. Either adopt or find a willing partner to impregnate. You also don't need to share hobbies or whatever, but you have to have that core connection for a long term relationship to work. Last night I lost it. I am aware that you should give the person who wants to figure themselves out space to do it. Get rid of him and find someone who is proud to be with you. We got back together and lasted for a couple years after that point and there weren’t really And this will go for him too. then we called the next However when I did BU with her I regretted it within a month and a half. Or if you want to keep her in your life you could propose an open relationship and see if she would be willing to try it. MembersOnline. should i break up with her? we (21m, f19) know each other for about a year but only have started officially being a couple a month ago. My boyfriend of 7 years (20-27) broke up with me 2 days ago. See a doctor, sit down with your boyfriend and discuss all this, maybe ask him to compliment you a little more. 11) Don't sleep with the person again, after you have broken up. Should I break up? Me (M27) and my gf (F27) have been together for about 4 years and we have had it up and down for about 2-3 of those years. I know he’s be so fucking depressed when I’d break up with him, he thinks I’m the love of his life. 5 years. Any reasonable person would know this. In person. yikeskat. For a 3 month relationship you don't really need many reasons to justify a break-up. Should I break up with him ? Hi, I’ve been dating a guy for the past 9 months. My boyfriend (21) and I (22) have been together for 2 years. I would break up with him, it sounds like he doesn’t appreciate you at all. So thank you to both for responding to the others. 3. I also couldn't eat, I just felt sick. Long distance relationships are very difficult if you don’t have solid plans to meet up every year. I'm very lucky to have the guy I have now. We “fight” a few times every week, or she gets sad about things I’ve done and how I can never comfort her. All his other relationships have been online and he's never met any of them. YES, break up with him. Most of the posts I found are from the person who got broken up with and has comments from other people who also got broken up with. I live with my gf so I expected her to pick up the slack when I started depression treatment. Consider long term. Reply. ADMIN MOD. And after every break ups and getting back, we got a lot of stuff improved. This relationship is a lost cause and so is she. It could be helpful to make a list of pros and cons, think about your long-term goals, and perhaps speak to a trusted friend or counselor about your situation. Break up, don't break up, doesn't make much difference at your age. You just jumped to being jealous and wanting to break up. Hi I’m a 18 year old boy and I go to high school. It's been 5 days of the "break" (now it's been 6) and during that 5 day break I cried every possible moment I was alone, even on my job. yj ou pi jt rx bf vf hj ec oe